B’nei Israel Congregation – San Jose, Costa Rica

KOLEINU - Our Voice

SEPTEMBER 2001

Elul 5761 – Tishri 5762

 
 

SHANAH TOVAH

to all our members and friends
in Costa Rica and abroad.
May the New Year 5762
bring us Joy, Health,
and Peace to Israel
 
 
  Articles in Spanish without translation: (see KOLEINU – setiembre 2001)


MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT

ROSH HASHANAH, YOM KIPPUR, ISRAEL, FULL-TIME RABBI

ROSH HASHANAH

    It feels incredible, but time passes relentlessly. Another year ends and another begins. We celebrate the beginning of the year 5762. I ponder:

    As president of Congregation B'nei Israel I have often noticed the constant need of the help of each and every one of our members to satisfy both the daily needs and those of the life cycle events of our community. Often I have asked myself: Why is it that at times we are lazy? Why are some of us always angry and annoyed? Why do we keep from getting involved in the community and yet demand things? Why do brothers maintain resentments between themselves? Why? Why? And so many more whys?

    I have thought very deeply about these questions, and have come up with some answers: It is because we are human. This is how we are. We are who we are. It doesn’t matter. You can't please everyone . . . Answers that in effect mean: We are not responsible for our actions or for our attitudes. We are saying, we can't change who we are, because we were made that way. In other words, we are not at liberty to choose to be different, or to change.

    There are many reasons to avoid the freedom of choice. One, very convenient, is to avoid the feeling of guilt. We can follow our lowest needs or desires and we don't have to feel guilty for the way we act. No one needs to feel guilty over a situation for which they have no control. The list of reasons could go on forever.

    Freedom of choice. Of course we DO have the freedom of choice.

    The first day man was created, was also the day of his trial for having demonstrated his free will; man showed his use of freedom of choice. Man is a being responsible for his actions and he must respond for them.

    In Rosh Hashanah we celebrate the New Year: It is the moment to change our attitudes. This is the day, the first of Tishrei, which corresponds to the day the first human being was created. We are also at liberty to recreate. To change whatever negative attitude we have into a positive one; to make changes to better ourselves, changes to strengthen the ties of friendship, changes to widen the horizons of our understanding, changes to help our community and our Jewish identity to grow; changes to help strengthen the People of Israel.

YOM KIPPUR

    Yom Kippur is the time to return. It is the time to rethink and refill our lives with hope. In Rosh Hashanah we celebrate with honey. The days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are the days of repentance. They are the days to ponder, improve, and make plans to achieve what we believe is the correct way to act. Yom Kippur ends this period of repentence. Rabbi Goldstein has written:
 

    Friends, Yom Kippur is the time to stop seeing our limitations. It is the time to say that our errors aren't our essence, rather a temporary lapse or lack of judgement. Time to say that we won't repeat them, that we can do better each day. We only need to try. Yom Kippur is the time to return. We are the same, for our Community, our identity, and the People of Israel.

ISRAEL

    Israel is always with us; we are always with Israel.

    The events occurring in Israel in the last year, with particular emphasis in the last few months, fills us with worry and with sadness.

    Some of us have family and friends living there, others don’t. However, we all have a strong identification with Israel.

    For many Jews around the world, the main frustration is the inability to do anything to help stop the violence. It appears that, regardless of the desires of the State of Israel for peace, the situation worsens daily. However, this sort of negative thinking produces nothing positive or helpful, because the last thing that the People of Israel need now, is to disperse their direction. Instead, we must direct our energy in doing our duty to raise Israel's spirit and help to contain this uncertain situation.

    Some connoisseurs of the issue have suggested various points which I would like to share at this time:

  1. We, as individuals and as communities, must study the current events in Israel. There are many possibilities via the Internet.
  2. We must stand up for Israel. We cannot be silent. It doesn't matter if it is within the family, with friends, coworkers, schools or universities, we must be completely aware of the situation and communicate our thoughts on the issues.
  3. We must energetically protest against the media that is only publishing part of the reality.
  4. We must help. If we are in the position to provide financial assistance, we must do it now via the pertinent organizations.
  5. Pray for a return to peace. All of us together as one people, we must pray for a return to peace.
FULL-TIME RABBI FOR B’NEI ISRAEL

    The time has come for our Community to have a full time Rabbi. We deserve it.

    Ever since the foundation of B’nei Israel, and thanks to the great effort of a lot of people, we have been able to offer our members all life cycle events and festivities. This effort reflects on our day to day growing Community.

    Throughout the years we have had the constant support of several Rabbis, by telephone, Internet, letters, short visits, and a longer visit of nine months. However, we are growing, and each day we have more needs, more questions.

    Therefore, the entire Board of Directors has decided to hire a full time Rabbi.

    We are well aware that this project will be difficult to achieve, but we are also sure that we can count on the help and support of each and every one of you. We have made dreams come true in the past. Today, once again, we can do it together.

    Shalom, my best wishes for the New Year that comes.

    Leshanah Tovah,

            Eduardo Keibel

Translated by Jody Steiger


A High Holiday message, 5762, for Congregation B’nei Israel

HAYOM HARAT OLAM - THIS IS THE DAY THE WORLD WAS CREATED-

THE BIRTHDAY OF THE WORLD- HAPPY BIRTHDAY - 5762

    Are we now ready to celebrate this birthday? We have the candles - which we will kindle on the eve of Rosh Hashanah as we usher in our New Year, 5762. We have the noisemakers - and we will hear their sounds when the blast of the Shofar responds to the calls, "Tekiah, Shevarim, Teruah". We have the cake - (with candles alongside, not on top) honey cake and sponge cake the staples of Rosh Hashanah and for added sweetness, an appetizer of apples and honey.

    As we greet our New Year we pray that our candles will bring warmth and light into our lives. We pray that the sounds of the Shofar will awaken and prompt us to consider just what our role is as Jews and as human beings. We pray that the sweetness of the appetizer and the desserts will be a harbinger of the sweetness that we wish each other as we welcome the New Year.

    So… if we are at a birthday celebration, why is the mood so serious and even somber? Because we are Jews and we are all, more or less paranoid, forever looking over our shoulder wondering (worrying?) what may happen. The words of the Yom Tov Machzor (the High Holiday Prayer Book) provide ample reason for us to be uneasy, just read the words of the U'Netaneh Tokef which enumerates the possibilities of life. The unknown can bring on frightening thoughts and the anticipation can create fearsome anxieties. That is why it is so very important that we take to heart the words that conclude U'Netaneh Tokef, "Repentance, Prayer and Charity" to temper judgment’s severe decree. We must ponder the meaning of these words, literally and metaphorically, if we desire to comprehend the message of these awesome days.

    At this birthday event we are reminded of the passage of time, the year 5761 has just slipped by but the new year is at hand, providing us the opportunity to right the wrongs we may have done. It is even more important that we look ahead to fulfilling our potential so that we attain the goals that have eluded us only because we were not attuned to the proper motivation. May all of us approach this season of Holiness with a sense of awe and the realization that we now have the opportunity for change and renewal and the turn or return to wholeness and wellness.

    I want to share with you the following quotation from the pen and the heart of one of Judaism's great medieval scholars and philosophers who lived and died in Spain in the fourteenth century.

    Such is the duty of our own heart as we look forward to gathering with family and friends and as a congregation to mark the Birthday of the World.

    Lillian and I extend to each and every family of the Congregation sincerest wishes for a Happy, and Healthy New Year. May this year, at long last, bring Peace and Safety to our people in Israel. May this New Year see a cessation of want, wantonness and warfare, and may the year 5762 bring an end to the suffering of the hungry, the homeless and the helpless people throughout the world.
 

 
A WARM WELCOME TO OUR VISITING RABBIS

    We welcome Rabbi Linda Motzkin and Rabbi Jonathan Rubenstein who together with their three children are spending six months in Monteverde on Sabbatical from their pulpit at Temple Sinai in Saratoga Springs, New York. We are happy to have them leading the services for us during Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur.

    The Rabbis and their children will be visiting during the Shabbat Service of Friday the 7th. That night is a special family service at 6:30 p.m., in which the students of our Jennifer Sossin School will help conduct the service. We are very pleased that it will be our young people who will be introducing our congregation to our visiting Rabbis.
 


MEET OUR VISITING RABBIS

http://www.templesinai-saratogasprings.org/rabbis.html

    Rabbi Linda Motzkin and Rabbi Jonathan Rubenstein have served as co-rabbis of Temple Sinai in Saratoga Springs since July 1986, just after receiving rabbinical ordination from the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati, Ohio. They were the first rabbinic couple ever to job-share a position as spiritual leaders of a congregation. Rabbi Linda and Rabbi Jonathan are the parents of Rachel Sophia, 15, Ari Shalom, 11, and Shira Bracha, 9.

    In addition to her duties at Temple Sinai, Rabbi Linda serves as a part-time Jewish chaplain at Skidmore College in Saratoga Springs. She is the author of Aleph Isn't Tough, the forthcoming Aleph Isn't Enough, and is currently working on the subsequent third book in the Reform movement's new three-volume adult Hebrew curriculum. She is also the co-author of The First Hebrew Primer and Prayerbook Hebrew the Easy Way, two Hebrew language textbooks from EKS publishing, and has taught a number of workshops on the teaching of Hebrew to adults.

    Rabbi Linda serves on the Ethics Committee of Saratoga Hospital, and is an officer of both the Adirondack Religious Coalition for Choice and the Board of Directors of Domestic Violence Services of Saratoga County.

    Rabbi Linda grew up in Los Angeles and is a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of the University of California at Berkeley. As a rabbinic student she served congregations in Montana, Mississippi, West Virginia, and Ohio, and was Adjunct Assistant Professor of Judaic Studies at the University of Cincinnati.

    Rabbi Jonathan has for many years been the part-time Director of Pastoral Care at Four Winds-Saratoga, a private psychiatric hospital. He is the President of the Attending Clergy Association of Saratoga Hospital, a former member of the executive committee of the Saratoga County branch of the NAACP, an officer of the Saratoga Housing Improvement Project, a member of the public school system's AIDS Advisory Committee, and has been active in the Coalition on Disability and Judaism in the Capital District.

    Rabbi Jonathan was raised in Minnesota and Connecticut, received his B.A. from Haverford College and earned an M.A. in Jewish Communal Service from Brandeis University. Before entering rabbinical school he worked for B'nai Brith Hillel Foundations, held jobs in social service and counseling agencies, worked as a corporate personnel executive and as a baker.

    The rabbis are members of the Capital District Board of Rabbis, the Rabbinic Cabinet of the United Jewish Communities, and numerous Jewish organizations. For many years they have participated as teachers and learners at the Conference on Judaism in Rural New England and the National Havurah Committee Summer Institute. In addition to a love of Torah and teaching, Rabbis Linda and Jonathan's special interests include storytelling, singing, classical and creative midrash (including art midrash), cooking and baking, and combining Jewish learning and worship with outdoor environmental activities.
 


THE FUTURE OF REFORM JUDAISM IS UP TO YOU

Ultra-Orthodox Politicians are Threatening Jewish Unity and Jewish Continuity

YOUR VOTE CAN MAKE THE DIFFERENCE

ARZA/WORLD UNION • Your Values. Your Israel. Your Vote.

www.VoteReformJudaism.com

    The future of Reform Judaism – in Israel and America – is up to you. And the future of Jewish unity and Jewish continuity is at stake. Despite five years of progress, Reform Jews and our rabbis in Israel are still viewed as second-class citizens:     These ultra-orthodox politicians continue to prevent democratic reforms. Instead of seeking to instill more tolerance, these extremists scorn our values. They accuse us of evil and darkness. But now there is a way to protect the future of Reform Judaism--and all it takes is your vote. We Can Instill Tolerance In 1997, Reform Jews made a tremendous impact by voting in record numbers in the last election for the Congress of the World Zionist Organization, the international parliament of the Jewish people. The direct result was increased political and financial support for the Reform movement. The future of our movement, however, remains in doubt. Reform Jewry can play a vital role in making Judaism more inclusive and tolerant of the different ways of expressing one’s Jewish identity. But to serve as a voice for pluralism, religious freedom, democracy and unity, Reform Judaism needs proper representation in the World Zionist Congress. We Can Protect Our Progressive Values Israel needs a strong voice for our shared progressive values on women’s rights, civil rights, and the environment. Registering and voting in this election will give you a voice in critical decisions defining "who is a Jew," and not leave such decisions to ultra-Orthodox politicians. To ensure that our children and their children remain connected to their Jewish heritage, Reform Jewry must remain vibrant, progressive, and strong. You can tell the world that Reform Jews care deeply about the future of all the Jewish people. Please register to vote today. Send in Your Registration Today Register and vote in this important election. It’s easy. And as we know, every vote counts.     In February you will receive a World Zionist Congress ballot. You can vote for the delegate slate that shares your values – ARZA/WORLD UNION – representing the Reform movement.


    The election for the American delegation to the World Zionist Congress -- the international parliament of the Jewish people -- is fast approaching. Registration forms are now available! And you must register in order to vote.

    In 1997, Reform Jews made a tremendous impact by voting in record numbers. The direct result was increased political and financial support for our shared progressive values in Israel. We need to do this again and all it takes is your vote.

    Online voter registration is coming soon to this site. You will also be able to sign up to volunteer and find out more about the issues in this election.
 

FOR NOW, TO RECEIVE A REGISTRATION FORM:

    Just go to http://209.190.217.165 and fill out the information and you will shortly receive the registration form via email.
The future of Reform Judaism in Israel and America is up to you.
And the future of Jewish unity and Jewish continuity is at stake.
Your vote will make the difference.

    If you have any questions or comments or would like to volunteer to help you may send an e-mail to arzawuna@uahc.org or call us at 212-650-4280.

    Remember that the final registration deadline is December 14. Everyone must register in order to vote. Please feel free to contact arzawuna@uahc.org <mailto:arzawuna@uahc.org> with any questions or concerns.

    Your vote will make the difference - the future of Reform Judaism is up to you. Thank you.

http://209.190.217.165/ - http://rj.org/arzawuna/index.html
Authorized and paid for by ARZA/WORLD UNION North America

 


JENNIFER SOSSIN SCHOOL CORNER

    On Friday night, September 7th, there will be a family Shabat Service conducted by students of the Jennifer Sossin School, together with Pilar Elkin, Hilda ten Brink, and Jody Steiger. The service will begin sharply at 6:30 p.m.

    We are looking forward to a very special evening and hope for the participation of everyone in the congregation.

    Please bring a plate of food to share afterwards during the Oneg.
 

COME AND SUPPORT OUR YOUNG PEOPLE!
 


SHOES FOR SHOAH

GOAL: To collect six million shoes for redistribution at minimal or no cost to those who are in need in Central America. A tag is attached to each pair of shoes, explaining to the wearer that each shoe has been donated in honor of one man, woman, or child who perished in the Holocaust.

HOW TO HELP: Shoe donations can be brought to the ‘Donation Location’ in the lower-level office of Congregation B’nai Israel. * We will accept any size or type of shoe (including dress shoes, flip-flops, sneakers, or rubber boots). All shoes, whether new or used, must be in good condition and tied together in pairs. *

This mitzvah is brought to you by Hannah-Sarah Faich of Temple B’nai Israel in San Jose, Costa Rica and Temple Beth Hillel-Beth El in Wynnewood, PA, USA, with the help of the Humanitarian Foundation of Costa Rica. For more information, please feel free to contact Hannah-Sarah in the U.S.: ?001-610-664-4906 or ?haysay85@aol.com. Soon to be available on the web at www.shoesforshoah.org!
 


REFORM JUDAISM NEARS A GUIDE TO CONVERSION

By Gustav Niebuhr. New York Times - Internet - July 2001.
Committed by Armando Flasterstein

MONTEREY, Calif., June 26 — The rabbinical leadership of Judaism's liberal Reform movement is poised to adopt a broad set of guidelines on conversion to Judaism that will embrace traditional practices once rejected by Reform leaders, urge that converts make certain commitments to Jewish life and also formally extend a strong welcome to men and women considering converting.

    One feature of the guidelines, which are expected to be adopted on Wednesday by the Central Conference of American Rabbis at its annual meeting here, would overturn an 1893 resolution holding that traditional practices like immersing a prospective convert in a ritual bath, or mikveh, are no longer necessary.

    Instead, the guidelines indicate that practices including the examination of a prospective convert by a panel of three learned Jews, called a bet din, and the circumcision of male converts (a symbolic drop of blood is drawn from men already circumcised) would be fully recognized within Reform Judaism.

    But whether such practices are actually used is a decision for the rabbi and the prospective convert. Rabbi Paul J. Menitoff, the conference's executive vice president, said the guidelines were "not the rabbinate saying to colleagues, This is what you better do, as much as we're saying, This is what we think is normative in the movement."

    Rabbi Menitoff said the use of traditional rituals in conversion had become considerably more common among Reform rabbis than it was two decades ago.

    The Reform movement has for years offered classes on Judaism's essentials at least partly designed for non-Jews married to Jews. The classes, which are part of "outreach" efforts to non-Jews who are not affiliated with another faith, have also attracted those curious about the faith, as well as a steady stream of people interested in converting.

    Rabbi Richard J. Shapiro, chairman of the conference's committee on conversion, said the guidelines provided rabbis with a comprehensive approach to dealing with prospective converts. They emphasize, Rabbi Shapiro said, that "conversion is a process," not a single event. The guidelines state that conversion should include "classroom learning, experiential learning, spiritual exploration and rabbinic counseling."

    The document also contains a list of what Reform rabbis might expect of converts, including an acknowledgment that the convert is entering "into the eternal covenant between God and the Jewish people," will maintain a Jewish home and will raise future children as Jews.

    That section in particular was praised by Rabbi Jeffrey K. Salkin of Port Washington, N.Y., who said it would "establish a commonality of expectations for our converts."

    Rabbi Shapiro said the guidelines were important for ending the traditional requirement that a rabbi discourage a potential convert.

    Still, conference officials said the guidelines were meant to emphasize the movement's receptivity to converts, not an interest in proselytizing. Indeed, a separate document, prepared in question-and-answer form about the guidelines, states no fewer than three times that the Reform rabbinate "is not targeting anyone" for conversion.

    Five years in the making, the guidelines reflect a continuing shift within Reform Judaism away from what some rabbis refer to as a "minimalist" approach to the faith and toward a greater embrace of traditional practices, which were discarded by the movement's founders in the 19th century.

    Just how many of the 1,800 rabbis in the Reform movement, which counts about 1.5 million members, actually require prospective converts to take part in traditional rituals is not known. Rabbi Lawrence J. Goldmark of La Mirada, Calif., said he did not.

    "My major criterion for conversion is sincerity," Rabbi Goldmark said. "You've got to convince me of your desire to become Jewish."

    Rabbi David Ellenson, the president of Hebrew Union College, which trains men and women for the Reform rabbinate, said an emphasis on tradition was important to people seeking spiritual foundations amid increasingly transient lives. The guidelines, Rabbi Ellenson said, were an effort by the rabbis to adapt "tradition so as to help foster a sense of community and attachment in a world where such sensibilities and realities are often absent."


FIFTH CONFERENCE OF THE JEWISH UNION

OF LATIN AMERICAN AND CARIBBEAN CONGREGATIONS

(JAN. 31 – FEB. 3, 2002)

Chadashot Beth Israel # 174
Elul 5761 – Tishrei 5762 / August – September 2001
Editor: Martha E. Lichtenstein - www.vitiailana@hotmail.com

    Preparations are well under way for the Fifth Conference of the JULC, an organization we are proud to belong to. This time it will take place in Jamaica, and the host community is Congregation Shaarei Shalom.

    The program, as in the previous ones, is fascinating and a real learning experience. As a participant. you will get a chance to meet friends from neighboring communities in our area.

    Please let me know if you will be attending. If we get a certain number of participants we will be able to obtain reduced air fares.

    It is essential for us, a mini community, to be interconnected. This is the way we grow and learn more about Judaism.

    To this effect, I’ve been assigned the project of a JULC website, with links to all other community members, and to important websites in the Jewish world. This project will, hopefully, soon materialize, and you’ll be able to access a wealth of information on Jewish topics, and on other mini communities that surround us.
 

WE’LL SEE YOU IN JAMAICA ON JAN. 31 !!!

 
 
 

R O S H   H A S H A N A H

TISHREI 1, 5762 - SEPTEMBER 18, 2001 
WE WISH ALL OUR FRIENDS, IN ARUBA AND OVERSEAS, 
A WONDERFUL AND JOYOUS YEAR, 
BLESSED WITH HEALTH AND DREAMS COME TRUE. 
 

LESHANA TOVA TIKATEVU ! 

Jewish Community of Aruba 

 
 
 


A BEAUTIFUL SURPRISE

    As this bulletin is being published, we are about to be cushioned, literally, with new chairs. They are truly comfortable, and will add immeasurably to the interior beauty of our Synagogue.

    Our "old" chairs were bought many years ago from a defunct theater in Heredia. They had "history" but little else to claim credit for, except many a torn pants pocket. Also, they were a pain for our members with portly posteriors.

    Thanks to Alvin Moss for his generosity and thoughtfulness. Alvin never takes a back seat when it comes to support; spinal or otherwise, of B’nei Israel.
 


LEADERSHIP BEGINS AT 90

    Michael Sossin, who turns 90 this Passover, was the service leader on August 17th, a Shabbat to remember. Together with our beautiful past-president, Hilda ten Brink, Michael’s voice was strong in prayer and in song.

    There are Seven Wonders of the world. God created the world in six days, and on the seventh, He rested – as our own Wonderkind, a young of heart graduate of the Para-Rabbi courses, took the pulpit.

    A Shabbat to remember....


A JUST CAUSE

    When Douglas McArthur, General of the U.S. Army in charge of the Pacific war against Japan, returned to his homeland, he was recognized as a hero. He was lauded and tauted as the next President. Then he made a curious speech which included this famous line, "Old soldiers never die; they just fade away."

    Now the brave General and I had little in common. I could fill this article with our differences, in virtually every way but one. We each had a cause and were dedicated to its success. We were both leaders; he had an army of millions and an unlimited budget. I led a congregation of less than 100 souls and we had no money.

    Without doubt, I had the tougher job.

    This year, I have "faded away" in my leadership role with the community. I’ve been active, but my role has been peripheral and I’ve been content to advise and support the current leadership. We have been fortunate in gaining a young, able, and determined President.

    However I feel a sense of frustration and impotency, sitting on the sidelines. Frustration, because I have witnessed some regrettable incidents during the year. Impotent, because I have been powerless to prevent what I perceive to be the growth of cliques within the community; each side claiming sole possession of Right and Truth. Of course no one wins. And the congregation loses. Some members become disenchanted and resentful.

    What happened?

    I feel we have lost our raison d’etre (our reason to be). When we began, we had a cause. A just cause. We wanted to live as Jews, and here in Costa Rica, most of us had nowhere to go to practice our Judaism. So, B’nei Israel was born.

    We had to fight for everything. Recognition, status, a place to pray and learn, overcoming prejudices. We had children we wanted to bring up with Jewish values. We needed to establish ourselves. We needed to help Israel face its daunting challenges – and we did. We reached out and brought Jews together from all remote parts of the Caribbean. We cared. We organized. Nothing was too much for us. We helped lift people up when they were down. We were a small group, but determined. We were magic! We were inspired!

    We circumcised, we educated, we bar/bat mitzvahed, we converted, we married, we catchyvatchied, we built a cemetery, a synagogue, a school, we published a trilingual siddur, we never failed to raise a minyan; we developed our own Service Leaders and never missed a Shabbat Service, not even an outdoor service in the midst of a hurricane, we observed all the traditional holidays. We shared many memorable experiences. Our lives were filled with B’nei Israel.

    It was like starting a new business from scratch. The odds are against you. You don’t have money; you don’t have inventory; you don’t even have customers. You can’t afford help. You go the extra mile. And you win the customers. You make money. Service gets better. You made it!

    That’s when you get into trouble!

    And we are in dangerous waters, my friends. We have created a negative force within the community. The symptoms are evident. It’s like a spreading virus. It’s called – INDIFFERENCE!

    Indifference. Need money? "They" will raise it. Need new members? "They" will find them. Need a Rabbi? "They" will get one. Got a problem? "They" will solve it.

    Who is "THEY"?

    The answer is obvious; no secret here. "They" aren’t there. You can’t ask others to do what you are not prepared to do yourself. Presidents clean floors, put siddurim on chairs, and make sure that all is in readiness for Shabbat. Critics abound. Doers are not found. The "They" we expect to perform these tasks is "US". You and me, folks.

    God looks after those who look after themselves. You can pray ‘till the walls bleed. But who will fill the empty heart? And who will fill the cups for the Blessing of the Wine?

    The cure for Indifference is Commitment.

    If B’nei Israel is to survive in Costa Rica, if indeed Liberal Judaism is to survive in the Caribbean, we need to be committed to its cause.

    Please take my words as a wake-up call. Every one of you is important. B’nei Israel is You! When you volunteer your time or your money, you support your own cause. Remember the words of Hillel: "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, what am I? And if not now, when?"

            Marvin Sossin

    P.S.: My congratulations to all who helped make the Cachivache Sale a great success.



On America Online,  there is a popular feature called Judaism Today:  Where Do I Fit? (keywords:  Judaism Today – Non-AOL members: www.jewish.com/news/gilmann.shtml.) People anonymously send in E-Mail to the author of the feature, Gil Mann and he selects one for a public response in his  Jewish E-Mail  column. This column is now syndicated internationally in Jewish papers and websites. Here is this week's edited E-Mail and Gil’s response:
 

THE POWER OF FORGIVENESS..18 YEARS LATER

Dear Readers:

    Most of us carry a hurt or a grievance against someone who we find difficult to forgive. I suspect you can easily identify someone you've had trouble forgiving. Keep that person in mind as you read the emotional exchange of emails below that began last Rosh Hashanah. As you will see, what transpired was moving and healing. Especially at High Holiday time, I thought that others would be inspired by the story and sought permission from the two writers to print their very personal emails that follow. Understanding how others could be helped, they graciously agreed. (I have changed names and details.)

*****************

Dear Gil:

    Our daughter, Ellen, was killed in a car accident, 18 years ago. Her best friend Sharon was driving, when the car hit a bridge.

    Her parents were very good people and our families were close before the accident. At first we were very concerned for Sharon. Needless to say after shiva, etc., the relationship died of natural causes.

    We recently found out that Sharon's mother died about a year ago. Sharon is now married and has 4 children including a new baby. She has never asked for forgiveness in any way, either by words or action.

    Our daughter would have been 42 today. It is so hard to hear all the news of friends who are married and now have families.

    What do you suggest?? Toleration to us, means to put up with, to acknowledge. To forgive, as I understand it, is to ask for or indicate there is remorse for the past action even if it cannot be resolved -- such as bringing our daughter back to life.

    I have been doing bereavement education for many years now and have enabled many bereaved parents to find a place in their being to tolerate the intolerable. Most of the time we don't think much about Sharon but holidays do bring this to the surface to be ruminated upon.

    Sincerely,

            Rose

*****************

Shalom Rose:

    I read your letter with sadness. As a person who works with the bereaved I think you could give me more advice than I could give you... still I will offer you my reactions.

    First of course, it makes perfect sense to me that you think of Ellen and Sharon at the times you mentioned. If you did not then I would be surprised.

    I wondered as I read your email, if speaking to Sharon would be fruitful and healing for you. After all these years, I would guess that Sharon has not totally healed.. My guess is that she had thought to speak with you but felt awkward, ashamed, guilty or some other feelings... and as time passed, the feelings were muted but the awkwardness increased.

    Perhaps a note to her expressing your condolences over her mother or a Mazol Tov on her children would work. In the note indicate that you think of Sharon and her friendship with Ellen often and would appreciate the chance to reminisce a bit. I would avoid putting her on the defensive in the note and in person... but if the conversation was going well, you could even candidly discuss what the accident was like for Sharon. I am not sure an apology would emerge, but something positive for both of you could.

    And if she did not respond to your overture... that too may be helpful to you (hurtful as it may be) as you will learn that Sharon is simply not at a place you need her to be...

    Let me know what you think.

    Shana Tovah!

            Gil

*****************

I sent that reply to Rose last October and never heard back. Then out of the blue in January, I received the following Email under the subject: REMEMBER ME?
 

Dear Gil:

    I wrote to you around the Jewish Holidays and how it made me think of my dead daughter Ellen and her friend Sharon who was driving the car when Ellen died.

    It has taken this long to complete the task. After a number of phone attempts, Sharon and I finally connected and we had a long talk on New Year's Day. I feel it was a definite breakthrough. Then she sent me the attached email.

    I just knew that Hashem kept pushing me to do this as 18 is a very important number in Judaism. The fact that it means "life" made me need to do this.

            Rose
 
 

ATTACHED EMAIL:

Dear Rose and Herb:

    I just wanted to drop you my email address. I really appreciate you calling me. Our relationship turned into an extremely difficult one. I want you to know how many times I wanted to call you guys. I'm the kind of person that keeps everything inside. I don't like anyone to see my vulnerable side. I know how much I hurt 18+ years later, I can only imagine your pain. I don't mean to bring back any painful thoughts. I'm sitting in front of my computer and tears are running down my face. I too miss Ellen and will eternally pay the price for extremely poor judgment. I have lived the past 18 years for both she and I. She is always with me. I wish you both a happy new year.

    Love your old friend,

            Sharon  

*****************

Dear Readers:

    Rose has written me several additional times and thanked me for the encouragement to contact Sharon. I hope her story encourages you to seek and grant forgiveness to others in your life this High Holiday season.

    Shana Tovah!

            Gil

Gil Mann is the Author of:  How to Get More Out of Being Jewish Even If: A. You are not sure you believe in God, B. You think going to synagogue is a waste of time, C. You think keeping kosher is stupid, D. You hated Hebrew School, or E. All of the above! Gil's work on this book, on America Online and this column are all done pro-bono. He welcomes your E-Mail comments and questions about this column or any subject. Write to DearGil@aol.com or send your letters to this paper. To order the book ($17.95) call: 800-304-9925.


SUKKOT

An Alphabet Puzzle

Find a word related to Sukkot with every letter of the alphabet:
 

A B C


JOKE OF THE MONTH

    It's Rosh Hashanah and services are about to begin. The synagogue is packed. As the congregates are milling around schmoozing before services, everyone seems to be distracted by a man who has brought with him a St. Bernard dog.

    "What chutzpah!" an elderly woman whispers aloud.

    Services begin, and everyone is fascinated by how well the dog behaves.

    The next morning, the man and his dog arrive early and promptly begin dovening. This time the dog is wearing its own little tallis and yarmulke, and even appears, upon closer inspection, to be shuckling back and forth as the hazzan intones the prayers. The congregation is amazed.

    The week goes by and Kol Nidre arrives. The solemn worship service begins. The man and his dog are back, and this time, just as the hazzan is about to begin the prayers, the dog stands up on its hind legs and howls "Ba-Roooooooch.......!" more melodically than the best hazzan.

    After the service, everyone is clamoring to meet this man and his remarkable dog. Finally the rabbi comes up to him and says, "That's one talented pooch you have there. You know you should really consider sending your dog to Rabbinical School."

    The man looks down, shakes his head, throws up his hands in disgust and says, "YOU TALK TO HIM! He wants to be a doctor."


THE EMPTY ROOM

    What’s the most important thing in your life; your spouse, children, God, health, money, success, knowledge? Think about it. Everyone has an answer. Usually, it’s an illusion.

    When we were young, we were drilled with commands and "absolutes". The "absolutes" were sacred truths, which were above discussion, and were supposed to lay the road-beds on which we could drive through life and arrive safely to a secure destination.

    And so, Mother is right, God sees all, Torah is truth, frugality brings security, eating right and exercising daily guarantees a long and healthy life; were all absolutes.

    Many of us listened. Some didn’t. Jews have always been a rebellious sort. We always seem to be at the vanguard of new and nutty revolutions. The seeds of the Hippie generation spawned an age of promiscuity, dope, and anti-absolution. Its center was Haight-Ashbury, a zone of San Francisco, during the 60’s. About one third of its transient residents were Jewish youth in the 18-35 age group. Ultimately, those that didn’t succumb to drugs and worse, "found" themselves. The Hippies became Yuppies and fell into their nice and neat little boxes, and a look-alike life they once decried and blasphemed.

    Historically, the more outspoken Jewish minds suffered a crueler fate. Names such as Jesus, Spinoza, and Trotsky come to mind; men who expressed new ideas and achieved fame and following in their time, but also became martyrs. They were exorcised, even excommunicated – and at worst, murdered, by those they tried to teach.

    Those of us who make it to 65 and beyond are supposed to "know better". We get respect. And when we make 80, or even 90, assuming we haven’t fallen into a confused void of dementia, even become "wise". "The older you get, the wiser you become." Or so the fable goes. "Experience is the best teacher."

    Let me open the door to you of my Secrets to Wisdom room. The door creaks as you open it. The hinges have never been oiled. And frankly, I only used the place infrequently. I’ve been too busy, you see, in business, community, and family to just let myself be alone in this mysterious place. But lately, I’ve been coming here more often.

    What are you expecting? Books and papers, perhaps, all filled with teaching and literature? God knows, I’ve probably spent one third of my waking life, reading. Everything from Torah to Tolstoi and to Trash. I’ve spent more time in libraries than at home. Care to see my collection?

    Memorabilia? Pictures, trinkets, letters, to remind me of all the experiences and people who have shared my life? My diaries, writings, all the evidence of who I loved – and lost, the children I fathered, my flashes of success, my falls and failures, scrambles and adventures? All that I learned as I moved from Toronto to the Tropics, and all the triumphs and turmoil that has marked an eventful and ever changing lifetime? Want to help me lift the lids of the chests laden with objects I treasure?

    What have we here? An empty room. Only the gathering dust on the floor and traces of what was, fading point on the walls and a staleness in the air. Are we in the right place?

    Yes, we are. Once, the room was filled with things. All of the above. Problem was, I could never find what I was looking for. So, I began to discard everything I didn’t need. Then, I found space, a little space so I could close my eyes and think. In time I came to realize I didn’t need anything in that room but space. A place to come and think.

    I could feel myself growing. Learning. Or perhaps – unlearning. I thought I knew a lot. All those years of accumulation and reading and experiencing and remembering. And what have I learned?

    Two things.

    One: I have learned that knowledge isn’t necessarily truth. In fact the more I grow, the less I know.

    Second: Love is everything. And, as I clear the debris of a cluttered and busy existence, the vacuum becomes a space, and I fill the space with love.

    Please don’t ask me to explain it. I can’t. Don’t ask me to describe it. I won’t. Don’t ask me how I know what I feel is real. I don’t. The most I can do, my friends, is to invite you to stand by me, and look at space in my empty room.

    And feel fulfilled.

                Marvin


ANNOUNCEMENTS

******

All the members of B’nei Israel Congregation wish to express their sympathy to:

******

Editor’s Note:

    A special thank you to all the people that contributed to make this bulletin issue what it should always be: KOLEINU, "Our Voice".   And thanks to Jody for translating into English some of the articles.


SCHEDULE FOR HIGH HOLIDAYS

Services and Activities 2001 - 5762

 
FESTIVITY
DATE AND TIME
PLACE
SLICHOT Saturday, September 8th  
10:00 p.m.
Synagogue
EREV ROSH HASHANAH
Service
Dinner
Monday, September 17th  
6:00 p.m.
8:00 p.m.

Synagogue
Hotel San José Palacio

ROSH HASHANAH, 
First day service
Tuesday, September 18th  
10:00 a.m.
Synagogue
TASHLICH Tuesday, September 18th, 
5:00 p.m.
Ten Brink’s home
ROSH HASHANAH, 
Second day service
Wednesday, September 19th  
10:00 a.m.
Synagogue
SHABBAT SHUVAH Friday, September 21st  
8:00 p.m.
Synagogue
KOL NIDRE Service Wednesday, September 26th  
6:00 p.m.
Synagogue
YOM KIPPUR Services Thursday, September 27th  
10:00 a.m.
  3:00 p.m.
Synagogue
EREV SUKKOT  
Sukkah Building
Service
Monday, October 1st  
4:30 p.m.
6:30 p.m.
Ten Brink’s home
SIMCHAT TORAH 
Mincha and Yizkor Services
Simchat Torah Service
Tuesday, October 9th  

6:00 p.m.
6:30 p.m.

Sinagogue
 

 
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KOLEINU Bulletin
September 2001
Editor: Inés Baum