Parashah of the Week:   Saturday, November 13, 2004

               B”H

            This week’s parashah begins telling us about the birth of Jacob and Esau, children of our patriarchs Rebekah and Isaac.  They are twins, but Esau was the first one to leave his mother's womb and that’s why he’s considered first-born, apparently deserving the Bechorah, the primogeniture.

            At the end of the parashah it is told that Isaac, being very old and blind, near to death, decided to call his son Esau to give him his blessing.  He asks him to prepare a special meal, also.  Meanwhile, Rebekah comments the situation with Jacob and advice him a plan to simulate being Esau and get the blessing instead of his brother.   Disguised with kid skin to be alike Esau’s and Isaac would not recognize him.

            Rebekah, for the sake of her love for her favorite son, was capable to deceive her own husband.  Why did she recourse to such strategy?  Wasn’t there another way?  Even though Rebekah appears to be guilty in this episode, we could think there was a problem between both, Rebekah and Isaac, which was lack of dialogue.  There were no words, only delusion and silence.

            At the beginning of the parashah develops a dialogue between Rebekah and G-d.  G-d tells her before the children's birth:  “Two nations are in thy womb, and two peoples shall be separated from thy bowels; and the one people shall be stronger that the other people; and the elder shall serve the younger.”  (Geneses 25:23)

            Somehow G-d gives her an indication of who shall be the continuer of the Hebrew tradition.  Some exegetes as Rashbam or Ibn Ezra taught that this phrase was a prophecy.  Rebekah knew that Jacob would be the continuer of the people, but never told Isaac.  Instead of warning Isaac about this event, she decides to deceive him.

            The fact that there is no dialogue between the couple stimulates without doubt, perplexity in this case, and hatred between the brothers.

            The Torah tells that each one of the parents chose one of the sons as favorite.  The text says:  “Now Isaac loved Esau, because he did eat of his venison; and Rebekah loved Jacob”  (Bereshit 25:28)

            We could say that, conscious or unconsciously, they put one of their children in a privileged position, reinforcing in this way the rivalry between them.

            How many times it happens that parents put their children in the middle of their conflicts, avoiding to develop an adult and constructive dialogue!  Perhaps the subject of the main discussion wasn’t related with which one of the sons will receive the blessing, but with conflicts non-resolved between them and which they expressed through their preferences to their children.

            All this chaos, lack of mutual comprehension and ideas interchange, bear both brothers to hate one another and one wanting to kill the other.  How big is the stubbornness of adults who can’t see the damage done to their children!

            Instead of being brothers, life companions, feel respect and admiration for the other, because of the disagreement between their parents, Esau wants to kill his brother and Jacob is forced to flee away from him, as if they were enemies.

            Maybe if there existed dialogue between the parents, brothers would not have to get to that extreme.

            Up to date, many children suffer the symptoms and afflictions that harm their normal development, and most of them are related with the family system dynamics.

            This week’s parashah teaches us not to get to extreme situations, but to avoid delusion, hatred and silence through a sincere, open and full of trust dialogue.

            May G-d grant us to apply these teachings in our daily life.